Cowgirls Vs. Pterodactyls (2021), A Gooey Good time.
I’m a Gooey virgin. Joshua Kennedy has apparently been making his brand of b-movie for years and I’m just now getting on board. If you’re new like me, or if you’ve followed this low budget train from the beginning, you can check out Cowgirls Vs. Pterodactyls on Amazon Prime right now.
So, unless you’ve read the title of this film and confused it with some sort of feminist manifesto in which strong willed, gun-toting woman finally break free from oppressive pteosaur-ish men, then you know the kind of movie that you’re in for. The kind with bad writing, acting, and special effects that will hopefully add up to a much better watch than you could hope for. The kind of movie where inconsistencies, bad make-up, and horrible set design help, rather than hinder enjoyment. Cowgirls Vs. Pterodactyls is definitely that, so when I point out all kinds of terrible things in the following paragraphs, you’ll know that it all made me happy, rather than wanting to tear my eyes from their sockets.
The Bad (good)
From the beginning credits; edited in their pseudo-western format with whip sounds, you know that Mr. Kennedy paid his subscription fee for one of the many do-it-yourself editing apps available to the masses. Most of the movie was filmed in and around someone’s house, though the sandy Texas coast stood in for the “desert”. The girl’s costumes were similar enough that my wife thought they must have snagged a bulk pack at Corsettes-R-Us on a discount. The outdoor campfire scenes were clearly filmed in the aforementioned house’s garage, as the echo on the cowgirls’ voices is atrocious. There are paintings in the background in many of the scenes that are probably painted by someone involved in the film. I wouldn’t dare disparage another’s art, but I couldn’t help but laugh at how out of place some of them appeared. There are also a few shots in the movie that seemed to have a low frame rate (though this could have just been filters placed over the footage) that hurt my eyes a bit.
The Good (good)
Now for the things I loved. As silly as the movie is, Kennedy clearly has a love for those things from which he takes inspiration. I absolutely adored the Pterodactyls and would have really liked to see more of them. They are lovingly crafted with stop-motion in an almost perfect homage to Ray Harryhausen. The fabricated versions used for closeups don’t have the same appeal, but it didn’t ruin the film for me. The film maker pulled as much style out of his limited budget as he could, with plenty of self-referential moments that made me smile. There is even a Charles Dickens reference at the end of the movie, and several references to “mopery”, which in this case is referring to exposing oneself to blind people. I would also like to mention that I believe this film contains the only literal use of the phrase “Hold your horses” I’ve ever heard.
Sometimes in reviews I break down the film’s plot, but there isn’t much point to that here. There are cowgirls. There are pterodactyls. Pterodactyls that are attracted to the color red and apparently breed faster that a rabbit on Adderall.
With titles like House of the Gorgon, Attack of the Octopus People, and The Night of Medusa, I will absolutely be checking out as many Gooey films as I can. I just need to find a way to get ahold of them. Does anybody out there have any ideas where to get copies of the older ones? Anybody got Joshua Kennedy’s number? Hey man, I’m on board. Make sure to check out filmcultist.com for all kinds of humorous reviews and let me know in the comments what your favorite dinosauric b-movie is!
Score: 6 Skulls, Not At All Pterable
